| Because Undead Soy Bean Curd Is Just That Sexy.... |
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| Your light's reflected now, reflected from afar... |
[19 Aug 2008|09:24pm] |
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Light Years - Pearl Jam |
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My dark light in that pitch white room.
Went out today.
And left me in the gloom
"We were but stones. Your light made us stars"
This week is a bad week for me.
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| POGOPOGOPOGOPOGOPOGOPOGO |
[04 Aug 2008|03:06pm] |
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Bounce - System Of A Down |
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I'm finding life hard right now.
I've realised that, as much as I adore programming, I am not cut out to be a programmer. *sigh*
I CAN do the work but... It just takes me longer than it should.
My way of thinking is just not the optimal way of thinking for a programmer. I dont think as logically and as mathematically as is required of me. I could continue my course and become a programmer I'm sure... I just dont want everything I set out to do to be an uphill battle. It gets me down, ya know?
I've found it hard to completely change the way I think and I'm not sure if I want to have to do that every business day for the rest of my working life if I continue this path. =/
Sorry, I'm rambling.
*sigh*
I'm just stuck in a rut.
I'm having a hard time fighting my depression and I dont know what to do about my future, and I hate it. It makes me feel powerless and useless.
I just want to be happy in my job. I want to be doing something I enjoy. I know that when I'm not happy, I tend to make the people around me miserable. I dont mean to, and I'm sorry. I know I can be a pretty useless friend sometimes. ^^; But I'm trying to be good. To open up to people and tell them my feelings.
Oh yeah, I should sort out my new LJ. I set it up a while ago, before we lost our iNtarw3bs for ages. (Well, a couple of weeks)
Meh, I'm too apathetic right now. I wonder when you stop calling it apathy and start calling it laziness? Or avoidance in my case. Meh.
Wow. I'm so emo lately.
I'm sorry for clogging up your friends' page with all this crap. =/ I'm just stressy and bitchy and emotional and stuff. It'll pass, it usually does.
I'm just want to have some meaning. I want the career I choose to be one that I'll be happy to work in for many years. I just have no idea what the 'career' in question is.
Sorry again for whining. I'm still no good at this 'show people how you're feeling' thing. =// I think there is a fine line between 'openness' and 'pathetic' that I've repeatedly crossed in this post. I'm so glad I dont have to read my own journal. XDD
I've been instructed to get sleep now due to a lack thereof last night.
Yay for insomnia!
...
JUMP! \O/
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| This blatent destruction must be destroyed... <3 |
[29 Jun 2008|06:47pm] |
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I Can't Stop The Mice - Fossilized |
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Hullo. We haves the internets.
Life is good but stressy. I am having big troubles with this C program i'm meant to be writing. Pointers and I do not see eye to eye, as it so happens.
But apart from study, my life is good. I'm trying to encourage Josh to update his LJ more often. ^^ <3
That being said; I'm also going to jump on the bandwagon and create a new LJ as this old thing holds memories of things I'm not sure I want to re-read. So, to start off this semi-new chapter in my life I'm going to try and be more open with people about my feelings and my life.
I think it would do me good. I just need to remember to update more. ^^;
I miss people. I miss you all. It occurred to me the other day when I bumped into Sophie that I really miss people. I need to hang out with you guys more often. How has everyone been by the way?
I heard some fantastic news about SSar and Joel that made me grin like a maniac; You must share more details SSar-dear! <3333
Ohh, and Chris - did you get some sort of desk-job with Metro?
It's almost 'Birthday Season' again, so I'm rushing around trying to think of ideas for prezzies. ^^ <3
It is great fun, even though I suck at it. XD
So, uh. Yes. Feel free to do the communication thing if you wish. I'm getting used to not communicating via face to face anymore. ^^;
I wonder if having the internet again will make me more or less social?
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[21 Nov 2007|11:47am] |
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Radiohead - Street Sprit [Fade Out] |
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So, You have this world...
So. We got a new flat. And I kinda figured out what i want to do with my life. Sorta. Okay, at least the next year or so. ^^
But first: T3h New Flat!
[cut to: Last Saturday morning]
Flat hunting. Both a great and horrific way to spend your Saturday morning as many of us know. <3 Now, After catching up with Logan last week we had decided to get the paper and start flat hunting as early as possible. We needed to get back to our property manager about our lease coming up, you see.
So Lilly said that he would be happy to help us flat hunt and this is great because Logan is possibly the least fussy out of the three of us. XD We find lots of flats to go see all over Wellington. We make a list.
First walking to Newtown by 11am, Then to Ghuznee by 1. Then a mad dash, or a taxi to Northland by 1:30, then wandering down Aro Valley to see a few places on the way before 3pm.
Fun, ya?
The Newtown flat was alright. Up some horrible Stairs of Death(tm) and above a small shoe repair place. Very little power plugs, but a good price. it was alright. We could to better though. <3
Next to Ghuznee. the 'Boy Flat' as it was listed in the ad. It was... uh, big. And at the top end of Ghuznee, you know where the old motarway off ramp used to be? Next to Buller street. That place. Downstairs flat. The rooms were nice but there was a hole in the lounge where there were no floorboards. XD
It was okay. Nice kitchen. But we could do better!
It was then we decided to flag the Northland one because we were tired and it was fucking hot. We head home briefly to 'not die from the heat', then made our way to the Aro places. We didnt get too far. We found the first Aro place we were off to visit and fell in love with it. <3
It's a beautiful place, up Mortimer Terrace. <33
Two bedrooms, Nice little courtyard thing. Big lounge and kitchen. Place to grow fruit or veggies. New carpet. And we bought awesome cheep furniture off the current people living there as they are going overseas. <3
Our new place is full of cool. XD Cant wait to move in. We move in at the end of December so flatwarming wont be till next year. *squee*
So now we just need to get our shit sorted and be ready to move in. ^^
Yay for Logan! If it weren't for him, we wouldnt have gone there. I had seen it advertised before, I just couldnt get hold of the landlady on the number to organise a viewing. So Logan is the true hero and stuff. ^^ <3
Happyness. <3
Ohh, I also have found a place/subject to study. So I'll be starting that either in December or next year. Yay student loan. -_-; Should only be 11k though, so it's not too bad. And I'll be working part time. Anyone got any part time places at their work going? ;p
Moose-ity. <3
Josh and Dani are happy now. <3 This is good.
Ummm, Until I next get the chance - Take care and have a good xmas if i dont see you before then. <3 >3
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| Zombie Jesus On The Moon? |
[07 Nov 2007|11:39am] |
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Gwaaar! |
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Dani is nervous. ^^; But happy.
Well, excited and nervous. <3 I got bored yesterday and sent in my cv to fifty million places and shockingly enough someone called me a few hours later and said they wanted to see if I was worth them paying to do this stuff called work.
So i ahve a job interview today. I havent had one of those in so long. I'm out of practise. XD
I doubt I'll get the job as they're wanting an inbound admin, and I have experiance in neither of those. But practise makes perfect. <3
So today this hobo is dressed up a bit. I even left the trenchcoat at home. I'm also wearing cufflinks that Josh got for us. <3 Hobo is swanky today. = ^_______^ =
Mongoose.
So yeah. Good practise. I shouldn't be nervous over a rehearsal right? ^^; Mew...
Ohh, I'd also like to thank everyone who has helped/put up with me over the last while. Thank you all.
And thank you Brett and Susan for reminding me of how Excell is evil. <3 But in a wonderful way. Kinda.
Ummm, in other news - dont fall for the Duck.
If you are eating lunch near the library or in Frank Kitts Park then mind the Duck. He'll wander up and give you those big Ducky eyes, DONT FALL FOR IT!
He has a mob of pigeons and seagulls in the wings. Dont fall for his cuteness and "I'm so hungry" schick.
Learn from my mistake. If you see the Duck, eat as quickly and as quietly as possible.
Dont let him see you.
Dont let him hear you.
Dont look directly at him.
Because to look into the eyes of the Duck will lead to sure DEATH.
(..... Of all your food.)
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| Yellow ducks. <3 |
[30 Oct 2007|12:57pm] |
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I suck at updating my LJ. I have always suspected this, but now I'm pretty sure that is why I dont update much. Appart from Josh and I not having a pc, that is.
Ummmm. Stuff. And life. Excuse me it's in no particular order. XD
Birthdays. Many people had birthdays since I last updated. <3 Yay.
My birthday sucked. Josh and I got food poisoning the night before. Nuff said. ^^;
So Josh, being the wonderful person he is, said that I should celebrate my birthday on his. <3 It was a much better day full of people and fun, rather then what my birthday was full off.
Then Michael had his birthday. Twas' fun also. We had fun searching wellington for somewhere he could have lunch and finally settled on Katipo. There was also the added bonus od Smampants being there. ;p
Ohh, and Ssar has a party too. <333 The food was wonderful and seeing people made my day. ^^
Ummm, Crap. What else do i rant about?
Ohh, Radiohead has a new CD. ;-; Dani wants. And next year Ours have a new album out too. Mmmm, New Jimmy-cat. <333
Halloween is going to be very... quiet this year, I think. I cant believe it's nearly the year over already. ^^;
Ohh, and World Game Day is on this saturday. Starts at 10am, I think and is at Wargame Supplies. <33 Sign
up before saturday and then pop by to see Josh and I.
Kitties. <3
Enjoy your day loves. Until next time.
Hobo out.
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| Oh No, I'm Trapped In Reptile Skin! |
[18 Sep 2007|10:53am] |
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Uther; It's your turn this year. That's all i'm going to say on the matter. You take the hit this year hun, I dont want to have to get older on top of everything else. XDD
Just one small bitch and then I'll stop okay? ^^' "Job hunting without a pc is hard!" The end. No more bitching now. I just wanted to get that small thing out of the way.
Ohhh, I am happy though because Josh and I are going to be looking for flats soon. <333 I cannot wait. It's going to be great to have a house that has a kitchen and a laundry. <333 *squee*
Chris seems to have the same problem in Franceland so I'm glad i'm not in his position. I couldnt imagine the pressure of having to find a job or getting kicked out of a country, ^^;; Mew...
Gwah. I cant think of anything else to write. ^^; Sorry.
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[25 Aug 2007|10:42pm] |
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 Trying to stay stable... |
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So, three more days at work. Hmmm.
I guess i wont be online for quite a while. Mew.
I dont know why but i'm just feeling a bit angsty right now. ;-; I think i need Joshu cuddles.
I is full of the mank again. *sniff*
I want to be something, to do something.
I just dont know what and dont know how.
That's not my problem though, my problem is that i'm freaked and almost too scared to figure out what i need to do.
But i'm trying I guess. I think that may be worth something.
Mew.
I really need Josh hugs. I vanish now. text or something, okay?
akay. <3
i'll make this work. i know it. i just need a little support. ^^;;
love you all. stay safe <3
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| There is no significant risk to your health.... |
[05 Aug 2007|04:49pm] |
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None. *single emo tear* |
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Everything has been kinda all "WHOA!" lately. But it's been a good "WHOA!" :D
Lets see...
It is bwifday season. This is good. The last three or four weeks have been full of birthdays and this is expected to continue until the start of September, so we have a while to go. But birthdays are fun!
Logans party was good last night. Many people I havent seen in a year or more turned up. It's great to know that they havent changed too much. Still the loveable old thems. <3
And Logan is 20 now! So old. ;p Man, We really are growing up fast eh? It doesnt feel like it's been that long since we were at school together. ^^;
Ohh, and by the way - I'm not sure if I told you the other night hun, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARA! <3 :)
Yay birthdays. It's good to see people. I hate being so busy all the time. Ohh, and I handed in my resignation. I gave my boss a bout a weeks' notice before I handed it in, so she cant bitch at me for giving her FIVE WEEKS notice before I'm free. Mmm, freedom.
The only problem I've found is that when you hand in your letter of resignation, you commit yourself to finding a new job. Oh yays.
So, Guess what I'm going to be up to ^^ <3
Anybody know of any positions going at your work? I'm preferably after a full time position in an office but trust me, once i get close to the end of August then I wont be so picky. ;p My last day at Kiwibank is the 29th of August I believe, so i have some time to get meh arse in gear and find me work. ^^
It's scary, as I've never done anything like this but I do love scary. XD It's all exciting and stuffs.
And hopefully with a new job I'll be able to be less stressed and maybe even find a new place for my love and I to live. As our place is a shithole and is falling appart. :D
So, yeah. I'm kind of running off nerves and adrenalin these days. And lack of sleep. But that's okay because stuff. *shifty eyes* Nah, I'll cope. This is far too fun to give in easily. Even if I am losing sleep. Spoon.
And I'm not sure if i mentioned but caffine and I have parted our ways. *sniff* It pains me to say but I dont think caffine and I hads a very healthy relationship. And stuff.
ONG, BEWARE THE PUFFINS!!!!!
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[23 Jul 2007|07:17pm] |
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Nirvana - Sappy |
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obligatory mac post. XD
laptops are cool, even if they are macs. Gods, i havent used one of these for years. XDD
Mew
I has Nirvana and Radiohead. This makes my crappy day better. I gave up on writing my cv. I am teh lame. *sob*
Ohh well, i get to spend tomorrow with my baby so that is something to look forward to. Mew.
spoon.
i is tired. Everyone is sick. this makes me sad. ;-; The only people who arent sick that i know of are Josh and i.
I can never think of things to write in this thing. ^^; Gomen.
Woots, ian has Polyethylene <3 I havent heard that in a while <333
moose-ity. <3
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[23 Jul 2007|01:46pm] |
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mood |
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Radiohead - Bones |
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Wow, My mothers computer is like t3h crap. It's so slow. I've made it crash so many times. ^^;;
Moose.
So, Here I am working on my cv. Or trying to at least. I've got time off work. Yay me. ^^
My boss finally relented and gave me time off after throwing a fit about me wanting to take time off due to stress.
Now I has today and tomorrow off. Woots.
Chris's party was good. <3 And I am happy Chris and Soph got together. Thems there is a good pair. :B
My head is so not in the right place. I've had to give up caffine and life is alot harder without caffine I've found. ;-;
Ohhh, and in more news - Brett had his lazer eye surgery. This is good. ^^ He looks so cool. <3 Yay for Brett!
.... I so need caffine. I'm so hyper without it. I'm hopeless at this cv stuff. T-T
I miss my Joshu. </3
I have.... about 6 hours untill i can see him again. Mew.
MONGOOSEFISH!
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[16 Jun 2007|07:46pm] |
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Yarr!
Updateness from Susan's. I am happy. I finished my First Aid course thing on thursday. I can now do CPR etc. I feel Jesus-y and stuff. <3
I miss you guys. Soph, Chris, Hale, David, Everyone - We should meet up for an early lunch this week <3 Lunchies are good. And I miss you guys. I'm sorry we couldn't make it for Pirates.
I have Logans' voice stuck in my head. I hate it when that happens. Just got back the Strings ep and album the other week so I've been playing it alot. It's still kind of un-nerving though. ^^;;
I want to drink or stalk people. Or both. :B It's far too cold these days. I still need to work on my CV. I am so lazy. No idea what to actually write on it but i figure it's easier to pretend to be lazy than admit you're dumb right? ;p
Chris keep teaching me stuff in French. I cannot remember how to say "My hovercraft is full of eels!" so therefore I am hopeless. XD
Bretts room is all warm-like. I have finally found a bunch of books that I have been searching for. Although I cant buy any manga right now as I am brokeses. ;-; But Borders had Bleach and the Furuba books I was after so this instilled a small and brief amount of happyness in me until I realised that I, unfortunately, have other things i need to get.
But the library also has books in that i have been stalking so I am appeased. ... This time. <3
I want to be the villain from Godzilla: Final War. <3 He has all kinds of cool.
Ohhh, And watch the latest Doctor Who - It's quite good. I think it's called 'Blink'. I think you'd like it Sean ;ppp
Had Josh and I clinging to each other and muttering "Creepy fucking angels" every two minutes. Not many things do that to us. XD
Ja Ne! <3
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[24 May 2007|06:20pm] |
Tomorrow we're moving buildings down to Williston street for 6 weeks. So Soph, Hale, Abs, Sam - You wont be able to meet me at Radio NZ House, I'll be next to the BNZ Centre. Which is cool cause I can hopefully see more of Susan. <3
Our new building is t3h crap. So many hidden places to get lost in. XD
Also, the pc in the breakout room (the one I'm typing on) probably wont be going with us so Josh and i will be hard to access via LJ. Dunno about email. ^^;; I mgiht be wrong, It might come with us btu it isnt looking likely.
So feel free to lob us a text any time or email us at our work addresses. Moose. <3
i am tired. Last day of work for the week.
My boss is an evil bitch but right now i am happy cause she bought us rum and cokes. <33
Not much else left to say. Just, yeah, please dont be offended if I dont post//reply to comments on LJ in the next ages. ^^;;
Love ya all, Take care. Untill we meet again, Batman! <3
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[22 May 2007|01:47pm] |
We have our rings back. We is happy. Moose
Chris is trying to teach me French. From France. It's... probably not going to work. XD
MINOU!!!
Josh is pretty. It's been 1 year and 3 months. Yay.
I think he is waiting for the pc, i will try and be quick. ^^;;
I've made a decision to hand in my resignation around early July so I get my bonus and get to see the new place we're moving to. Apparently lots of my team are also leaving if they find good enough jobs.
I like this zoo idea of David and Chris's. I want it to be known that the zoo is fun :BB Yay zoo. <3 We need to start planning ;p
We've seen snippits of Ssar which is good. i like Ssar too. Even more then the zoo. <3 :B
I need to get around to organising something with Ssar and people. I will try and remember this.
Uhhh, nothing else much to say i guess. without going into too much detail.
I should to contact Susan and Brett about possible soup make-age.
I want to cook muffins. :B
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[08 May 2007|06:13pm] |
Gah!
I dont know what to do with my life!!! T-T
Why didnt I have this breakdown after school instead of now? *sigh*
Sean, Do you know of any full or part time positions going at your work currently?
moose.
I wish i knew what to do, who to be.
Is there anywhere I can go to get options?
I know I'll eventually sort something out but I cant wait till then. ^^;; I'm too impatient. I need to know now what I'm going to to. XD
Spoontacks.
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[08 May 2007|01:59pm] |
I'm thinking of leaving my job. I'm not quite sure how the process goes as i've never had to leave a job before but I'm sure i'll figure it out if I need to. ^^;;
I want to stick around to get my bonus though if i can handle it. (^^;) I want the extra money to go towards the house fund. lol. and I want to see what kind of payrise i'm in for. I'm curious like that.
But I'm thinking of doing some cources then maybe going to uni next year. If i have the drive. ^^;; I'm bad like that./
The worst that can happen is i realise i'm not ready for uni and just get back into good job. Although I'm a little over banks. Lol. ^^;
I'm tired and dead.
But only two more days of work after this one. <3 now you can see how i feel. XD
Moose.
I haveta run, I'd lovwe to catch up with you guys some time.
Dont you ever stop being dandy! ;p
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[30 Apr 2007|06:11pm] |
I'm trying to actually improve myself.
I realise that the councillor I went to sucked. But that made me realise that if I can realise a councillor sucks, then I must be able to see//think of something worse then the shit i'm in.
therefore I can be fixed!
:DDDDDDDDD
So i'm trying to get better. And people are wonderful. I'm trying real hard and you guys make it alot easier then hiding. :D Thank you all.
So, no moe whining for me. I need to fucking change otherwise wha's the point in whining? If I'm not willing to even TRY and fix myself then maybe I dont want to be fixed, maybe I shouldnt be fixed.
But i do.
And I will.
^^ <3
So Josh and I have written a list and I'm working on it.
I'm going to be better, I swear. I promise.
I'm not going to be so much of a flake. <3
Josh and I also have two plants now.
They're called Vash and Knifes.
'Cause we're geeks. :BB <333
And I'm reading Men are from Mars. Good book.
it's going to help lol.
Josh also has happy news.
He's being headhunted by powerful people.
OMG WILDERBEAST! <3
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[19 Apr 2007|08:16pm] |
You know how sometimes you just want to curl up under the bed and just lie there? Breathe the dust. Watch through that tiny gap between the floor and the blankets because it's all you can really cope with right now. It's just the feeling that tells you to run. And to stay.
I guess i'm feeling like that right now.
This constant chorus of 'what the hell am I doing?' and 'am I doing this right?'.
I just dont know any more.
I dont trust myself to think or to feel.
I'm seeing a counciler-type person. First time in five or six years. What the fuck do I say?
Everyhting that has happened.
Was I right in keeping my promise?
I dont know.
I honestly dont know how to deal with everything right now.
There arent the options there were before.
I feel like I'm heading for a breakdown. a meltdown of sorts.
I'm so sorry.
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[11 Apr 2007|02:19pm] |
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mood |
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melancholy |
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music |
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Bright Eyes - When Winter Ends |
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Cin died. I miss her. Cin was such a sweetie. So.... lazy and fluffy. <3
Cin was Susans' rat. She was Oolongs friend and a lovely companion. I'm sure Sage and Pepper are going to miss her.
Abby's flatwarming was all good. I got to see people i haddent seen in ages. <3 It was good.
Moose!
I'm too tired to think of what else to write. I got to find me a frog or a good prezzie for Halebunny. <333
As Chris says: Spoonta.
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[02 Apr 2007|01:52pm] |
Hey guys, How's everyone?
I have to make this brief as i have work in 10 minutes but i'm just letting you guys know that i have a phone again.
So if you can all text me at some point and leave your name and numbers (As i lost them all in the great puffin incident) that would be wonderful.
Moose.
Pans Labrynth is good. I'll 'update-for-real' one of these days.
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zombietofu's journal